7 July, 2022.

A good strong meditation practice today: full relaxed breaths came easily from the start, and remained that way despite the inevitable moments of distraction and failed concentration as the random thoughts and fears percolated on the edges of my mind.  I believe I learned something important today: the concentration of the mind that affirms emptiness and dissolves the snaking thoughts has until now felt like hard work, like resistance, a kind of exertion.  I have fought for emptiness, for simplicity, for clarity.  Today I think I understood that it is in fact the thoughts that are hard work, that take energy.  The restoration of clarity and silence, which I am grateful to say came often today, is in fact a kind of ultimate relaxation into the self, into the original mind, the uncarved block.  There is no work to be done to close out thoughts; it is only a deeper relaxation, a deeper breath, that returns me to that empty space, somewhat like light, that is the meaning of these meditations.  When it happens, it is like rest, and one recognizes the exhaustion that is involved in being one’s thoughts.